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327: đŸșThe Wolf You Feed — On Addiction, Recovery & Codependency — and What We Get Wrong About All Three with Eric Zimmer

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At 24 years old, Eric Zimmer was homeless, addicted to heroin, and facing jail time. In the decades since, he has found a way to recover from addiction and build a life worth living for himself, while coaching others through his programs and award-winning podcast The One You Feed, based on an old parable about two wolves at battle within us (a story I also share in Pivot).

We had the great pleasure of recording in person—while meeting for the first time! This was extra special because of how much Eric generously shares about his pivots through addiction and recovery, the deeper needs beneath destructive coping habits, how challenging addiction can be on friends and family, and what the literature often gets wrong about codependency.

More About Eric: For the past 20 years, Eric Zimmer has worked as a behavior coach. He’s also a Certified Interfaith Spiritual Director, podcaster, and writer, who is endlessly inspired by the quest for a greater understanding of how our minds work and how to intellectually create the lives we want to live. Since 2014, he has been hosting the award-winning podcast, The One You Feed, based on an old parable about two wolves at battle within us. His story and his work have been featured in the media including TEDx, Mind Body Green, Elephant Journal, the BBC, and Brain Pickings.

🌟 3 Key Takeaways

  • Gabor MatĂ© says addiction is often “a person’s attempted solution to a deeper problem” of connection and love.

  • Giving up behaviors that comfort us, numb us, or artificially connect us is possible if we seek true assurance, acceptance, and real connection—those are the ingredients that lead to human thriving—but only in their true forms.

  • Anxiety and trying to “fix” things takes a lot of energy. If you have a loved one who is stuck in a cycle of addiction, start by shifting your focus from worrying to discovering what you can control, and what actions will allow you to refuel, so you can take care of yourself and others.

✅ Try This Next: Sometimes, in the moment, there isn’t anything to do about it other than be upset, and that’s okay. When you’re in a dark space, recognize it and feel what you’re feeling, while keeping your mind open to change.

🔗 Resources Mentioned

📚 Books Mentioned

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